Honey Do List From Hell

This weekend Lori and I didn’t have to go anywhere, and the weather was really nice. I was very tempted to take one of the motorcycles out for a spin, especially since this is one of my favorite times to ride around here with the poppies and lupine in bloom.

But since we’ve been out of town so much lately there’s lots of catching up to do, and I feel real guilty when I don’t make use of the rare good painting days that we get in Ferndale.

So I attacked the chore list with gusto.

Saturday it was mostly just the stuff that has to be done, like mowing the lawn. Sunday though was a little more interesting as I juggled several projects at once. 

Fence Slats

For several months now I’ve been working on making the slats for the arbor in front. I bought the wood for this project during our Thanksgiving trip to Melody’s so you can see it’s taking awhile. 75 slats had to be cut with the tail design on both ends, sanded, primed and painted with two coats of latex. I’ve felt like I’ve been working on an assembly line the last few months. This is what happens when you pick a house so you can’t hear your neighbors.  I am so looking forward to making the 350 or so pickets.

In between coats drying I also put a couple of more colors up on the gable. Now it just needs the blue half balls attached and the gold leaf center. The balls are in the garage getting coated in epoxy before they get painted. The gold leaf will wait for a day without too much wind.

Front Gate

I also finally got our front gate hung. It was made with leftover parts from our front porch restoration. I would like to thank Steve Courtemanche for building it. I designed it, and bought the most expensive piece of wood I’ve ever bought for the frame, an $80 piece of old growth redwood. But I just couldn’t seem to get around to actually assembling it with the amount of other projects I have going on. So thanks Steve!

After I finished with the gate hanging, I noticed that our boxwood hedges were long overdue for a haircut. They were all halfway into that 70s afro look. So I decided to tackle one more project. When I got the wheelbarrow out to pick up the clippings, I picked a few nearby weeds. I’m not sure why, but picking weeds is like eating potato chips. You can’t just pick one. So I kept at it until three wheelbarrow loads later my back was sending me urgent warning signals that unless I wanted to spend the next few days lying on the floor, I should stop. Right now!

At 7:30pm I finally gave up and went inside to have dinner. After dinner I called mom since it was Mother’s Day after all. I missed that she was too far away to visit. She’s been very good to Lori and I this year, and it would have been nice to thank her in person. Plus, even though she always has a Sonny Do list for me when we visit, it’s never as long as my own list.

Welcome Back to the Real World

Today was like the best Christmas ever.

Today was Lori’s activation day. After spending the last 19 days in total silence, the big day finally came and she got to see how the new implants worked. 

We got to Stanford at 11:00 and Lori’s sister met us there a few minutes later. About 11:30 we finally met with Dr. Blevin, the wonderfully talented surgeon who implanted the two devices at her last visit. He took a look at both ears and said everything was healing as expected and cleared her for the next step, the audiologist.

We had time for lunch in between appointments so we headed to the cafeteria. Who said hospital food sucked? I had a great cardiac burger (bacon cheeseburger) with curly fries, but I figured with all the doctors in the house I’d be safe should the worst happen.

After lunch we went to meet the audiologist. She first showed us the four boxes of equipment that was Lori’s new ears. Two of these boxes looked like they could have held well packed laptops. I was thinking either the processors were a lot bigger than they let on, or Med-El seriously over packed the devices. Fortunately, it turned out to be the latter.

Inside each of the two big boxes was a kit for each ear. Everything in the kit was packed in a very slick looking aluminum briefcase that had us all thinking it looked very James Bondish. Inside the briefcase they packed two of everything you need, so that you have a backup for anything that fails. That’s very comforting as redundancy is a good thing to have for mission critical components in any system. As we found out in the last few weeks, hearing definitely is on the mission critical list.

Once Dr. Loy got everything unpacked she started on Lori’s left ear. First she programmed the 12 channels for the quietest sound Lori could hear, then the loudest that was comfortable for her. Then came the big moment, Dr. Loy loaded the map into her processor, and turned it on and spoke to Lori. Lori was surprised that she was instantly able to understand Dr. Loy. Paula was surprised too, which left me wondering why I was the only optimist of the group. After all, I’m an official member of the Grump & Gripe Club.

The process was repeated for the right ear, and just in that short time her hearing improved. It was quickly obvious that her hearing was already back to the level she was at before the surgery when she was relying on her hearing aids. It was very comforting to know that she wasn’t any worse off, and knowing that patients improve dramatically after even just a few days of using the implants we were very encouraged.

It is also obvious that for the next few weeks I will be explaining all these new sounds to Lori. While the implants have returned her hearing, it’s not the hearing that you and I experience, or even the hearing she had with her hearing aids.

When we got back to mom’s house, Paula sang to Lori, and she was able to enjoy it to the point it brought tears to her eyes. That’s the first time Lori has enjoyed music for awhile. She then asked me to sit down at the piano, and that brought tears to her eyes as well. (I wish I were really that good of a piano player.) That she’s enjoying any music this early in the process is amazing, and it’s a good sign that Lori is going to be one of the lucky ones that will get the most out of her implants.

It’s really hard to express just how we both feel right now. I knew this was going to be a momentous day for both of us, but to have the gift of communication restored to us is overwhelming. I thought I was coping ok during the last 19 days, but being able to talk to her again feels like a rebirth. Lori is completely in awe that they are working so well right off and that she’s once again enjoying things that had disappeared from her life. 

I remember as a kid the excitement of opening boxes and boxes of presents on Christmas morning. But none of the presents I received as a kid compare to the present that came to us in all those Med-El boxes today. The gift of communication.

Worlds Worst Spammer

I just received this message in my mailbox:

Hello,
I am Steven, a respectable business man from Canada. I am indeed
interested in your horse posted for sale. I want to buy the horse as a
surprise birthday gift for my daughter. I will like to know if the horse is
still available for sale and will also like to know your final asking price.
I have a shipper who will come over there to pick the horse as soon as
the payment is completely received by you. Please let me know your
asking price if the horse is still available for sale, the reason for selling
and recent picture if available so we can proceed from there. I will be
looking forward to hear from you.

Regards
Steven

Now the only credit I can give this spammer is that his message did get through my rather extensive set of spam filters. Everything else about it just made me laugh.

First off, I don’t have a horse, so that would rule out me having a horse for sale. Seems a weird scam to pull off, as statistically, your average American does not have a horse for sale.

As the rest of the message provides enough clues to the contrary, Steven is not a respectable businessman from Canada. A check of the IP address from where it was sent comes up with the startling news that he’s from Nigeria.

I sure hope his daughter isn’t disappointed that she’s not getting a pony for her birthday.

Painting Season Has Arrived

Growing up with San Jose’s dry weather presented some challenges when it came time to adapt to the humid coastal climate of Ferndale. Many of them emotional, but some practical as well, such as painting one’s house.

Our house in San Jose had been neglected when we purchased it and by doing a thorough job prepping it, that paint job has lasted 16 years. Last time I drove by it it was looking a little tired, but it was still holding together.

Here in Ferndale, a good paint job lasts about 5 years, and if you’re really lucky it might hold together for 10. The combination of humidity and the salt air really does a number on these old houses. It’s a bit daunting to think that I’m going to have to repaint this house every 8 years or so. Especially when the chances to paint in Ferndale are so limited.

Ferndale has two painting seasons. In spring right after the rains stop but before the inland areas warm up. Once the heat of summer arrives Ferndale turns into a foggy mess and you only get occasional days where the drizzle lets up so you can paint. Then in fall we get a few more weeks where the inland heat subsides enough so that Ferndale enjoys the best weather it sees all year.

So given the small window of opportunity to paint in Ferndale, I was only able to get half the front of my house painted last year. While that sounds discouraging, I’m bolstered by the fact that only the front of our house has extensive gingerbreading and the other three sides should go a lot quicker. I use to wish the south side had more gingerbread since it is very visible, but now I’m glad it relatively plain.

Yesterday, with the sun out, I couldn’t stand working indoors at the computer, so I made my way up the scaffolding to start painting the second gable. Even with just the monochromatic coat of primer, it looks fresh and renewed. I can’t wait until the whole front is finished. Then I can stand in front of the house and fool myself for a short time at least.

The Waiting Room

I’ve now been sitting in the waiting room at Stanford for 5 hours. We arrived a little after 5:30am. On the wall in the waiting room is a TV screen similar to the arrival and departure screens at the airport where you can track the progress of flights. Only in this case you are assigned a secret code so you can track the progress of your loved one.

Lori started out code orange, which meant she was in the building. A few minutes later she went code yellow, indicating that she was in pre-op. This is where I was supposed to get a chance to see her before the surgery, but the nurse brought her purse out and that was it.

Shortly after 7:30am she went to code green, indicating that she’s in surgery. This status is expected to remain the same for 5 hours. So right now the board is looking pretty boring. There are already other patients who have gone on to red for closing, blue for the recovery room phase 1, purple for the recovery room phase 2, and even grey for discharged.

Here is where my logical mind has a problem with their use of colors. Their use of the yellow, green and red stages sort of make sense if you think of them in the traffic signal sense. But when you throw in the other 6 colors it becomes harder to see the relationship. I would have designed it so that it went in the order of the spectrum starting with purple and ending with red.

You can probably tell that I’m pretty bored at this point.

Transformation

Last night we had dinner with some friends, who, like us, have had their marriage tested by health problems. In their case, one of them has had several strokes and has a hard time speaking. So at dinner we had one person that couldn’t talk, one person that couldn’t hear, and two husbands trying their best to interpret for them.

It did make me realize how lucky I am though. Even though the last couple of years have been a real trial for Lori and I, they are problems that we are working through, and in time we hope we regain some sense of normalcy. As I write this at 9:28pm, we are about 8 hours away from starting the process that will turn mild, docile Lori, into a true bionic woman.

No, she won’t be able to out run freight trains, or lift cars off of people, but early tomorrow morning we will be making our way back to Stanford Hospital, where surgeons will install her two cochlear implants. What a bad little gene took away, modern science will return.

It won’t be instantaneous, and it won’t be back to normal, but I’m looking forward to Lori’s return to the hearing world. I sure thank the scientists who not only dreamed of such a device, but all the researchers and programmers who continually strive to improve their effectiveness.

The Real McCoys

After we left SF we headed across the Bay Bridge to visit Mike McCoy, his wife Nancy, and their two sons, Grayson and Mitchell. The McCoys live in Danville, and again the iPhone was useful, as it helped locate a bakery so we could pick up dessert.

Mike provided a great BBQ steak dinner, which was the fourth night in a row we’ve been treated to BBQ steak. Absolutely no problem there.

It was great catching up on the last 30 years and reminiscing about our high school days. Nancy may have some questions for Mike later. 

Grayson, Nancy, Mitchell, Mike

Chinese Cookies and Pincushions

We came down to San Jose for Lori’s pre-op meeting on Friday, which went well except that a computer mixup meant that she missed getting a bunch of needed tests. So we had to go back to Stanford today so she could complete those. The plan had been to go to the San Francisco Zoo, but by the time we got out of Stanford it was 2pm.

So plan B was to go up to SF and then wander around Chinatown. On the way up there I thought about these almond cookies we used to get in San Jose that we haven’t seen for years. Since they were a Chinese product, we figured we’d make it our mission to find some in Chinatown.

The first grocery store we visited had them, and they are as delicious as we remembered them. But that left us with out a grail to seek.

Then Lori remembered this specific pincushion she wanted. She explained what it looked like but I was at a loss trying to picture it. We went into store after store and didn’t see any sign of Chinese pincushions. I figured since people don’t sew anymore, there’s really little need to be stocking pincushions these days.

It was just about getting time to return to our truck before it would get ticketed or towed when in the last store I noticed they had a clearance section down in the basement. Thinking that maybe they might have them hidden down in the stuff that nobody wants anymore I wandered down there. I had covered most of the items down there and was about to give up when I heard a lady on the other side of the store say, “Oh look at these pincushions, my mom had one just like it.” I rushed over to where she was standing and asked, “Did you say pincushions?” She pointed to the barrel filled with pincushions and I instantly recognized the grail of pincushions, they were exactly what Lori was looking for.

Lori finally wandered down stairs and I rushed her over to the barrel, where she picked out a pretty purple pincushion.

We got back to the truck with 7 minutes to spare and both missions accomplished. The iPhone made it a lot easier to navigate SF streets, and we made it out of the city with my blood pressure only slightly elevated.